Everything is this and that...

"Life is a rollercoaster"...... "Life is what you make it"....Well if life is a rollercoaster and it is what i make it, I must of made a hell of a rollercoaster. I just keep going up and down and I'm not slowing my speed at all.FULL SPEED AHEAD BABY!...
Sometimes Full speed ahead isn't always good..it can make you very stressful and tired, yet I still find myself not getting a wink of sleep; just laying in my bed looking up at the ceiling or looking at the wall or sitting up looking, not watching, just looking at whats on the T.V., blankley...There are just some things in life that seem to be so hard it just makes me want to explode, and sometimes I feel like I am exploding. I know life isn't supposed to be easy..well for some people it's a lot easier than for others. Sometimes I just sit and wonder what am I doing with my life? why did you place me on this earth God? what is my purpose? I might just be impatient, or curious, but I just wish things weren't so damn hard all the time! Cause on my rollercoaster of life, I'm headed straight for an upsidedown loop, going faster and faster every inch without a seatbelt, and I just hope and pray i don't fall out....